13 Healing Activities for Children and Teens Coping with Grief
Grief looks different on every child. Some shut down. Some ask endless questions. Others seem fine one moment and overwhelmed the next. What they all have in common is a need for safe ways to express what they are feeling. When young people experience loss, they often do not have the words or emotional tools to make sense of what is happening. Gentle, structured activities can offer comfort and give them a way to express their grief without pressure.
The following thirteen grief activities are designed for children from early elementary age through the teen years. Each one encourages healthy emotional expression and reassures them that their reactions are normal and that healing takes time. These ideas are simple and flexible so families, caregivers and educators can adapt them to the child’s age, personality and cultural background. They are not meant to replace professional support, but they can become valuable tools in everyday life.
How Grief Can Look at Different Ages
Every child is unique, but understanding typical patterns can help you choose the right activities.
Young children (approximately 4–8 years)
Young children often express grief through behavior rather than words. They may:
- Ask the same questions many times
- Move quickly between playing and crying
- Show changes in sleep, appetite or toilet habits
For them, concrete, sensory activities help most, such as drawing, playing with toys, simple rituals and having a special object to hold.
Older children (approximately 9–12 years)
Older children usually understand more about death, but they may struggle to talk about it openly. They may:
- Worry about what will happen next
- Feel responsible for things they could not control
- Act extra grown up or, at times, regress to younger behavior
They benefit from creative activities, memory projects, gentle conversations and opportunities to ask questions in a safe, honest way.
Teens (approximately 13 years and older)
Teens often have adult like thoughts but not always adult coping skills. They may:
- Hide their feelings to protect others
- Turn to friends, music or social media for support
- Feel angry, numb or outside of normal life
Teens often appreciate more independence: journaling, music, creative writing, sports, volunteering, peer support or one to one conversations where their privacy is respected.
Most of the activities below can be adapted across ages. The key is to follow the child’s lead, offer choices and never force participation.
13 Healing Activities to Support Grieving Kids and Teens
1. Memory Stones
Best for: young children, older children, and teens
A simple stone can become a surprisingly powerful symbol of remembrance. Invite the child to choose a stone themselves, rather than handing them one. Let them search in the garden, a park or on the beach until they find one that feels right in their hands, maybe because of its shape, its color or simply its weight.
At home, they can transform the stone into a personal keepsake. They might paint it in their loved one’s favorite colors, add small patterns or write short words like “love”, “thank you” or the person’s name. Other children prefer to draw symbols that carry meaning for them, such as hearts, stars, flowers, animals or a simple line that reminds them of a special place.
The finished stone can be kept in a special box, placed near a photo, or carried in a pocket for support during difficult moments, such as the first day back at school or a holiday. For many children, being able to grip something solid while big feelings rise up is deeply soothing. For teens, a small, discreet memory stone can be a way to feel close to their loved one without having to explain their grief to everyone around them.
2. Feelings Journal and Creative Writing
Best for: older children and teens, adaptable for young children with drawings
Writing can help young people untangle the knot of thoughts and feelings that often comes with grief. Offer them their own notebook, ideally one that feels special, and let them decide how to use it. You might say, “This is your space. You can write, draw or scribble anything you want. No one has to read it unless you want them to.”
Older children and teens might write about their day, how much they missed the person in a specific moment, or what they wish they could change. Some will prefer lists, such as “Things I still want to tell you” or “Things that make today slightly easier.” Others may be drawn to creative writing, using poems, song lyrics, letters or short stories to explore their grief in a less direct way.
Younger children can turn the journal into a feelings book with drawings, stickers and simple words that you write down for them, such as “sad”, “angry”, “confused” or “safe.” Leafing back through old pages later can show them that feelings come and go and that even very hard days eventually pass.
Over time, the journal becomes a private container where they can safely put their sadness, questions and memories. It does not remove the pain, but it can make it feel more manageable, because it is no longer only inside their head.
3. Letters to a Loved One
Best for: all ages, with support for younger children
After a death, children and teens often feel that the conversation stopped too soon. There may be so many things they wish they could still say: apologies, questions, stories, jokes, thank yous. Writing letters is a gentle way to keep that inner dialogue going.
You can invite them to write a letter that begins with “Dear…” and let them choose the rest. Some letters might describe a recent day, as if they were catching the person up on their life. Others might focus on a specific memory, such as a holiday, a funny accident or a quiet moment they cherished. There may also be letters full of anger or frustration, especially with teens, and that is normal too.
These letters can be kept in a decorated box, tucked into a memory book, read aloud on special days or, if the child chooses, ceremonially burned or buried. The ritual of deciding what to do with the letters is part of the healing process. It teaches children that their ongoing bond with the person matters, even if that person is no longer physically present.
Younger children who cannot write yet can draw a letter picture and have an adult write down their words underneath, preserving their voice as it is in this moment of their grief.
4. Memory Box and Collage
Best for: young children and older children, adaptable for teens
A memory box creates a tangible place where a child’s most precious reminders of their loved one can live. It can be a simple shoebox, a wooden box, or a decorated container, as long as it feels safe and theirs. Invite the child to help choose the box and to decide what goes inside.
Together, you can gather small items that carry meaning: a favorite photo, a piece of jewelry, a letter, a concert ticket, a key ring, a handwritten recipe, or even a piece of clothing fabric. Children often choose objects that might look unimportant to adults but are deeply significant to them, such as a bus ticket from a shared trip or a small toy they always played with together.
Decorating the box can be a slow, comforting activity. Children might paint it, add stickers, glue on beads or write words like “memories”, “love” or the person’s name. Older children and teens might also create a memory collage or photo board to go with the box, using printed photos, magazine cut outs, song lyrics or quotes.
Over time, the box becomes a personal sanctuary. On difficult days, opening it and touching the objects can help them feel less alone. On lighter days, it can spark stories, laughter and shared remembering.
5. Gratitude and Memory Walk
Best for: all ages, with simple language for younger children
Grief often sits heavily in the body. A slow walk outdoors can gently loosen some of that weight. Invite the child to walk with you, not in a hurry, but at a pace that allows them to notice the world around them. You might walk in a nearby park, along a familiar street or even just around the block.
As you walk, you can quietly encourage them to pay attention to their senses. Ask simple questions, such as “What is one thing you can hear right now?”, “What do you see that you like?” or “How does the air feel on your face?” These small moments of awareness help their nervous system settle.
At some point, you can add a soft layer of gratitude by asking, “Is there one thing outside today that you feel grateful for?” It might be a particular tree, a patch of sunlight, a bird or simply the fact that they are walking with you.
On the way back or once you are home, you can invite them to share one memory of their loved one they want to hold close that day. For teens, this might come naturally in the rhythm of the walk. For younger children, it might come later as a drawing or a short story. The walk becomes a moving container where grief and gratitude can coexist.
6. Art That Speaks
Best for: all ages
For many children and teens, art feels safer than direct conversation. It allows them to express complex emotions without having to find the right words. Set out a variety of art supplies on a table and give them as much choice as possible: crayons, markers, pencils, paints, collage materials, glue, scissors and different types of paper.
Rather than giving strict instructions, you might say, “You can draw or paint anything that feels connected to your feelings or to the person you miss. There is no right or wrong way to do this.” Some children will create literal images, such as a picture of their loved one, a favorite place or a special day. Others will create abstract shapes, intense color blocks or scribbles that reflect their inner storm.
If they want to talk about their artwork, listen without analyzing. You can ask gentle, open questions like “Can you tell me about this part?” or “What was it like to draw this?” If they prefer to keep their meaning private, respect that choice.
The finished pieces can be kept in a folder, displayed in a special place or added to their memory box. The point is not to make something beautiful, but to give grief a visible, external form so it does not have to stay locked inside.
7. Guided Conversation Cards
Best for: older children and teens, simplified for younger children
Sometimes a child wants to talk but feels overwhelmed by the idea of starting. Guided conversation cards can turn a heavy topic into a manageable, even slightly playful, shared activity. On small pieces of paper or index cards, write simple prompts. You could include:
- “One thing I really miss is…”
- “A moment I will never forget is…”
- “Something that makes me feel a little better is…”
- “I feel most supported when…”
- “I wish people would stop saying…”
Place the cards face down and invite the child to pick one. They can answer as briefly or as fully as they wish. You might pick a card too and answer your own prompt, so that it becomes a shared conversation rather than a therapy session.
For younger children, use simpler prompts with drawings, such as a sad face, a happy face, a heart or a house, and ask what each one makes them think of. It can help to put a time limit on the game so that it does not feel endless. When you finish, thank them for what they shared, even if they mostly said “I do not know.” The fact that they stayed with the process is already meaningful.
8. Comfort Rituals and Remembrance Candle
Best for: all ages
When life suddenly feels unpredictable, small repeating rituals can act like anchors in rough water. Comfort rituals do not have to be complicated or religious, they only need to be consistent and meaningful to the child.
You might light a candle at dinner and invite everyone to share one short thought or memory. You could create a habit of saying goodnight to a photo or to a special object on the bedside table. For some families, reading a favorite story or playing a particular song at the same time each week becomes a comforting rhythm. For others, it might be setting a place at the table on a special day, or pausing for a silent moment before a meal.
A small remembrance corner at home can also be helpful. This might include a framed photo, a memory stone, a letter, a memorial urn, a piece of jewelry or a special toy. The child can help arrange this space and choose what belongs there. Over time, visiting this corner or lighting the candle can become a gentle way to say, “We have not forgotten. We still carry love, even in our sadness.”
9. Planting Something New
Best for: young children, older children and teens
Planting something in memory of a loved one brings together movement, nature and symbolism. Ask the child what kind of plant they would like. You might show them pictures of different flowers, herbs, bushes or trees and talk about what each one represents. Perhaps a bright flower for a cheerful personality, a strong tree for someone who felt like a protector, or a herb that can be used in cooking, keeping the person present in everyday life.
Involving the child in the entire process matters. They can help prepare the soil, place the seeds or plant, water it and check on it regularly. As they watch it grow, they see that something new can slowly emerge alongside their grief. On anniversaries or tough days, they might pick a flower, touch the leaves or simply sit nearby.
For children who live in a flat or do not have access to a garden, a potted plant by a window or even a tiny indoor herb garden can serve the same purpose. For some teens, caring for a plant in their room offers a quiet ongoing ritual that does not draw attention from others but still feels deeply personal.
10. Music Moments and Playlists
Best for: older children and teens, adaptable for younger children with supervision
Music has a way of reaching places that spoken language sometimes cannot. For teens in particular, music is often closely tied to identity and emotion. You can invite them to create different playlists, for example:
- Songs that remind them of happy times with the person
- Songs that help them cry when they need to release sadness
- Songs that feel comforting and safe
- Songs that express anger or frustration in a healthy way
They might listen alone with headphones when they need space, or you might listen together in the car or at home if they are comfortable with that. For some teens, sharing a song that says what I feel is easier than trying to describe their emotions directly.
Younger children might enjoy a small selection of gentle comfort songs that you play together at bedtime or during a quiet moment. They may also like to dance, clap or move to the music, which helps their body release tension.
You can combine music with other activities, such as drawing while listening to a favorite song, writing down a lyric that stands out, or talking briefly about why a particular song matters to them.
11. Talking to an Empty Chair
Best for: older children and teens
The empty chair technique can be intense, but for some older children and teens it opens a door that feels stuck. Explain the idea clearly first, so they know what to expect: an empty chair will represent the person they lost. They can sit facing it and talk as if the person were there, or even switch seats to speak as both themselves and the person.
They might use this space to say things they did not get to say, to express anger or hurt that feels too heavy to carry alone, or simply to describe what life has been like since the death. Tears, silence, laughter and even joking are all possible and valid responses.
It is important to stay close, either in the room or nearby, so you can offer support if the emotions become overwhelming. Let them know that at any time they can pause, take a breath, have a drink of water or stop completely. If they choose to stop, you might gently ask, “What would help you feel a bit steadier right now?” and follow their lead.
If you notice that this exercise brings up more distress than relief, it may be wise to discuss it with a mental health professional who can guide the process more safely.
12. Strength Circles and Support Networks
Best for: older children and teens, simplified for younger children
Grief can make children and teens feel small and powerless, as if everything good has been stripped away. A strength circle is a visual way to remind them of what and who still supports them.
Draw a large circle on paper. Inside, ask the child to write or draw things that help them feel stronger or safer. They might start with people, such as parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, a favorite teacher, a coach or a school counselor. Then they can add pets, hobbies, sports, creative activities, comforting routines or spiritual practices.
Next, invite them to include their own qualities. You can help them notice traits like kindness, courage, humor, imagination or persistence. Many children find it hard to name their strengths, so it can be powerful when an adult says, “I see this in you.”
Around the outside of the circle, they can add places that feel safe, such as their room, a friend’s house, a quiet corner in the school library, a park or a grandparent’s kitchen. For teens, this exercise can naturally lead into a conversation about grief groups, online or in person, where they can meet others who understand what they are going through.
The finished circle becomes a map they can look at when they feel alone, a reminder that grief is part of their story but not the whole story.
13. A Day of Remembrance
Best for: all ages
Having a planned day of remembrance can bring structure to waves of grief that otherwise show up unexpectedly. Together with the child, choose a day that feels meaningful: it could be the person’s birthday, the date they died, a holiday they loved or any other date that stands out.
In the weeks or days beforehand, invite the child to help plan what the day will look like. Younger children might want to draw pictures, bake a cake, watch a favorite movie or create a small craft. Older children and teens may want to cook the person’s favorite meal, visit a place that holds memories, create a video or put together a digital album.
The day does not have to be heavy from beginning to end. You can mix quiet, reflective moments with lightness and even laughter. What matters is that the child sees that it is okay to remember on purpose, rather than only when grief crashes in unexpectedly.
Over time, this day can become a tradition. Each year, the way you mark it may change as the child grows, but the message stays the same: this person was important, and our connection continues in the way we live and remember.
Gentle Guidance for Parents, Caregivers and Teachers
No single activity will fix grief, and that is not the goal. What children and teens need most is a steady adult who walks alongside them. These principles can help you provide that kind of support.
- Every child grieves differently. Two siblings can react in completely opposite ways to the same loss. One may cry a lot, the other may seem calm or even cheerful. Try not to label one reaction as better than the other. Both are attempts to cope.
- Offer choices instead of demands. Rather than saying, “Today we are going to do this grief activity,” you might say, “There are a few things we could try. Would you like to draw, take a walk, or do something else together?” Giving choices restores a bit of control in a situation that often feels out of control.
- Follow their pace. Some children are ready to talk or create right away, while others need time. Silence is not always avoidance, sometimes it is rest. You can check in with simple questions like “Do you want to talk about this now, later, or not at all today?”
- Name feelings without judgment. Gentle reflections such as “You look really sad right now,” or “It sounds like you are frustrated and tired,” show that you are paying attention. You do not need to solve or fix the feeling, just acknowledge it.
- Repeat information patiently. After a loss, children often ask the same questions many times. Repetition helps them gradually understand what happened and feel safer in a changed world. Answering again, calmly and consistently, is a powerful act of love.
- Include them in decisions when appropriate. Even small choices, like which photo to place by the bed or how to arrange the memory box, can help a child feel less helpless. For older children and teens, you might also involve them in decisions about ceremonies, rituals or how and when to share information with others.
Being a supportive adult for a grieving child can be exhausting and emotional. It is normal to feel unsure, overwhelmed or afraid of doing it wrong. Remember that you do not have to be perfect. Showing up, listening and being willing to learn alongside the child are already deeply healing acts.
When to Seek Extra Support
These activities can be very helpful, but they are not a replacement for professional care. Grief is not an illness, yet sometimes children and teens need more support than family and school can provide.
Consider reaching out to a pediatrician, school counselor or mental health professional if you notice, over a longer period of time:
- Persistent withdrawal from friends, family or activities they used to enjoy
- Ongoing sleep problems, frequent nightmares or strong changes in appetite
- Self harm, talk about not wanting to live or wishing they could die too
- Strong and frequent physical complaints without a clear medical cause
- Intense guilt, shame or blame that does not ease over time
- A clear drop in school performance combined with other warning signs
Seeking help is not a sign that you have failed. It is an act of care, for both the child and for yourself.
Supporting Grieving Kids with Patience and Presence
Grief is rarely a straight line, especially for children and teens. Their emotions may rise and fall without warning. Some days they may want to talk, create or be close, and other days they may want to play, listen to music or keep to themselves. All of this can be part of healthy grieving.
What matters most is letting them feel what they feel, while reminding them that loss does not take away love. The activities in this guide create gentle pathways to healing so young people can express themselves without pressure or judgment. Your calm presence, honest conversations and small everyday rituals are often more powerful than any single activity.
If you are supporting a grieving child and feel unsure what might help in your situation, you are always welcome to reach out. If you have questions, comments or feel certain information is missing after reading this post, please contact us through the contact form. We are happy to think along with you.
